In my last episode of the Blank Page Protocol, I spoke about the concept of toxic shame and how you can use it to create psychologically realistic characters.
But there's another kind of shame that's important for storytellers to understand, something I will call collective toxic shame.
An individual's toxic shame is related to their private experience and sense of identity — feelings of low self esteem, inadequacy, and self loathing often rooted in their childhood traumas. Collective toxic shame involves the same feelings and sense of identity, but shared by two or more people because of a common experience.
A classic example of this is a family unit living out collective toxic shame rooted in a shared secret.
This dynamic is the bread and butter of American "kitchen sink" dramas, in which a family's unspoken truths churn up drama and tension, building to a climax in which the secret is catastrophically — and sometimes violently — unearthed.
I had the privilege of watching the current Broadway production of Death of a Salesman, starring Nathan Lane and Laurie Metcalf, which showcased how explosive the emotional powder keg of toxic family shame can be.
spoilers ahead
Let's focus on the two main characters: Willy Loman and his son, Biff. They both suffer from an abundance of individual toxic shame and each compensate in one of the two ways I discussed in my video: Willy by being greater than human, portraying himself as a universally liked and successful salesman; and Biff by being less than human, unable to hold down a job because of his compulsive thievery. But their shame also has a common source.
We learn that Biff was a star football player in high school who had a scholarship to the University of Virginia, but never made it because he failed his senior math class. Meanwhile Willy, who projected his own dreams of success onto his son, wrestles with what he sees as Biff's wasted life and unfulfilled potential.
Why did Biff fall so far? Willy wants to know — and we do too. Biff was one summer school class away from going to college, but he declined to take it. How come?
The answer lies in something that happens between Willy and Biff. After Biff fails his course, he travels to Boston to see Willy, hoping his father can talk the math teacher out of failing him. But when he arrives at the hotel room, he discovers that Willy was sleeping with another woman and cheating on their ever-faithful mother.
Biff's view of his father as a Great Man is shattered. He doesn't take summer school, loses his scholarship, and it derails his entire life. Willy spends the play bemoaning his son's low status and squandered potential, while in a state of denial about how it was his choices that brought it to bear. When the truth finally bubbles to the surface, it causes not only the destruction of the family, but the suicide of Willy Loman himself.
This is the quintessential example of a plot set up you should steal, especially if you want to write a family drama: a communal secret that triggers collective toxic shame, which in turn triggers your story's climax upon its reveal.
Happy writing!
Working on a project and in need of support? I'm offering free consultations and conversations on all things story. Feel free to reach out to me at brough@broughhansen.com.